You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
