Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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