I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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