I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Randomize
