yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
