We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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