I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
