I am puke
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
