Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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