how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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