I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize