There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
