She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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