I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
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