After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize