I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
