I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
