Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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