is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
