He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
