Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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