Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
