I bet he comes in French.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There's always time for handjobs
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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