Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
they're like a gay fantastic four
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
