so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
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i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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