oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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