Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize