I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
