dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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