If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
