My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
