when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
