no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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