he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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