Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
