I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
