i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize