i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
