how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
