Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I am naked and annoyed.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
