How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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