New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize