But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
being pregnant is like rehab
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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