If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
