I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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