What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have aggressive nipples.
They have beer where we have blood.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
