Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
