I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
