he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
