doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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