She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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