Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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