How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
