The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize