you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
she peed on how many people?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
