we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
