come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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