You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think people are normalizing furries
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
