Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
