I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
smell my finger.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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