fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize