I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
