Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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