my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The power of my boobs compel you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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