I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
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Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
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I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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