Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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