i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
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Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
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Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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